I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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