im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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