doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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