Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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