If i come over, it means nothing
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
