This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
