Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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