i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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