worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
