I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
