My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
