hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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