and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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