Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
