If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The air was thick with penises
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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