She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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