HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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