What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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