To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
