I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
