He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
