After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
