nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
