Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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