yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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