You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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