Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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