Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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