The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
