I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize