I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
