I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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