This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
