when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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