If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
