We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize