Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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