Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
