is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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