in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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