I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i would punch a child for taco bell
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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