It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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