Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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