No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
