I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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