The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
