Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize