they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
