dude i'm inner monologue high
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
