no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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