I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Rumble strips road head = magical
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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