that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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