i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
