Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
