It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
