To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize