Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
