Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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