I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
