Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
