Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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