Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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