I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
