He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize