Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
